World's Greatest Mom, Spills Her Secrets in A Parenting Book

2008's Mother of The Year, (according to Trailer Park Weekly), is releasing a book about ....(wait for it).....motherhood!!

If you have wanted to successfully raise a child that uses its sexuality, in place of social skills, to get what they want, then this is the book for you.

If you want your child to be a cash cow, so that you never really have to work and you can always have an abundant supply of Tab and Virginia Slims, then this is the book for you.

What book am I talking about? Only the greatest guide to raising kids ...(as an investment that pays off). Move over Bill Cosby and that Shalom in the Home dude. Sit your butt down Super Nanny, the real authoritay on parenting is releasing the ultimate guide to parenting!!

That's right people, on September 16, 2008, Lynne Spears will release her book, ""Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World". She wrote it all by herself. I can't wait!!!

As a matter of fact, I am writing this while camped out in front of Borders (in my Zoey 101 sleeping bag of course!!!)

In her tell all guide to parenting, she lets us know about all of the little milestones in her children's life.

Par example, I know we all thought that Britney lost her cherry flower to J.T. Turns out that she actually lost it at 14 to a high school football player. Which is kind of late considering that (according to her loving mommy's book) she started drinking at the age of 13. Her precious little ATM was even caught with cocaine and marijuana, on a private jet, at the age of 16.

According to the Sun, Lynne, "tells how she regrets handing over control of Britney’s career to managers and allowing her daughter to be promoted as a sex object in raunchy videos at such a young age. She believes Britney’s wild behaviour as a teenage star is the root of her current problems."

How great is that! She even shows us how to refuse to be held accountable for our parenting!

I can't wait to read this book. I am used to parents that dedicated their life to protecting me and making sure that I grew up to be a good person, with respect for my body and strong moral values. But that is so last generation. Besides, Dr. Spock is dead! So who cares. He isn't dead? No? Didn't he get killed off in that last Star Trek movie?

This is the parenting of the future and I cannot wait to learn how I too can be a great mother to the children I have not even had. O darn, I don't have any kids...its cool, I'll just borrow some one else's. But not until I learn all there is to learn from "Through The Storm" by Lynne Spears, out September 16Th.